All couples face conflict with one another every once in a while. No relationship is perfect. There are good times and there are bad times. However, too much conflict and constant miniscule arguments make for a very toxic energy. It’s a difficult skill set to achieve, but learning to choose your battles carefully will always be a crucial talent within almost every relationship.
Will It Matter In An Hour?
Is the issue still going to affect you both an hour later? If you’re pouting because he stole your last fry, or whining because she rustled your hairdo, chances are you’ll be over it in an hour or less if you’d just let it go and move on. Make sure that whatever you’re choosing as your debate topic is even worth arguing over. Be sure that you have a possible solution in mind so you can address the situation reasonably.
Change Your Perspective.
Maybe take a couple of minutes to think about their position. Look closely from their side of the story. Wear their shoes for just a second before you get yourself all worked up. So maybe she’s running late again but she probably had to make sure she had perfected her hair about three times just so it could look good for you. So he hasn’t texted back for a full 20 minutes, but relax. He was just trying to squeeze in a shower and nice shave before your date tonight.
Arguing Just To Argue
Always make sure that if you’re making an argument it’s not just because you’re bored and have nothing to do. Aside from boredom, try not to argue after a rough stressful day. You’re more likely to pick pointless arguments when under a lot of stress or while in a bad mood. Arguing creates a way to vent, which can be healthy in some situations, but you don’t want to be taking a rough day out on your partner.
Be Respectful, Be Reasonable
Whatever you may feel the need to confront your partner about, keep your attitude in check. Make sure to approach them in a calm and collected manner. Be clear about what is bothering you and give a valid reason as to why you felt the need to bring it to their attention. Remember not to raise your voice, or use any hurtful language. You don’t need to put your partner down to gain any leverage, if anything that will cause hard feelings and even less willingness to cooperate. Have an open ear and listen to what your significant other has to say. Be respectful and be reasonable and you’ll find yourself further ahead in the end.